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It was reported this week that a quadrillion (one thousand million million) Zimbabwe dollars can now be changed to approx. 5 American dollars.

This news has come just as I was wondering what to do with my 5 quadrillion Zimbabwe dollars which occupy my room so much there is no space for anything else.

I was keeping all those Zim Dollars waiting anxiously for Mugabe to see the light and like Chuck Norris, high kick the economy back to shape. It seems, this will never happen more so with Mugabe being in his 90s.

I’m sure this man has made plans that as soon as he dies, they reincarnate him so he comes back and resumes his presidency without wasting time. No one else is allowed to take over, ever.

It all began that fateful day in 1980 where the people gave him power but once he got it, he decided that no one else could have it. In an official statement given by the government, Zimbabwe is erasing their currency and will solely operate finacial transactions with foreign currency. The juju Mugabe uses is high premium grade.

He has managed to destroy the economy of a country, yet he remains the president. We watch movies (good and bad) all the time and there is always a hero.

There is always a favourable turn of events before something so drastic happens. How does a government fail so miserably to the point of resulting in erasing its own currency?

You can’t even Google convert any currency into the Zim dollar any more. It is that bad. It was no surprise then that that report was followed by another one outlining that a hundred thousand Africans migrated into Europe by June 2015.

People just like you and me get on a boat the size of a DCM dala dala bus and risk their lives to go to Europe for the sake of a better life.

Whether or not that life involves cleaning toilets and/or washing dishes for the next 20 years doesn’t matter as they know their children will have a chance.

This also applies to the hundreds of Tanzanians who have sought refuge in other countries in the hopes of a better future for their children. With the dollar at more than Tshs 2,000, how much longer can we go before it gets to a quadrillion?

Twitter: @AmbyLusek